Proud Mommy

Not Halloween, believe it or not. It is how my boys went out to the Bus Stop on Tuesday :)

Well since I feel like I am always so negative on here, I figured I would write about the good things that are occurring in my life. Although I must admit behind every smile and proud moment I have with my other children, there follows an instant of sadness because I know I will not get to experience that with my sweet Logan.

I will start with Taylor. She is doing amazing things right now at age 5 1/2. She is very successful at school and during conferences we were told she is already reading/writing at a 1st/2nd grade level and she was chosen as CITIZEN OF THE MONTH by her teacher. This is the "coveted" award at my daughter's school because they have a special ceremony (that we attended this morning), get free breakfast and a medal she gets to wear at school all day. She is currently involved in the competitive program for gymnastics at our gym and is about to be moved up to pre-team. She will be the youngest girl in the group by at least 3 years. She does work her little booty off and will spend 6 hours a week in the gym when she gets moved up, most likely in March or April. She also is taking tennis lessons and playing basketball right now and will start soccer again in April. I think some people think I have her involved in too many things, but she absolutely loves it and is the type of child that needs to be kept busy. I am trying to expose her to everything at a young age, so in a year or two she will be able to decide exactly what activities she would like to participate in.

My oldest son Landon is ALL boy, very laid back, and such a sweetheart. All he wants to do is run around and roll on the ground and play star wars or swords with his little brother Luke and friend Tyler. He also is doing very well in preschool socially and emotionally, but has little to no interest in picking up a pencil unless told. I am trying my best to come up with creative ways to get him to sit down for 5 minutes and practice his name...needless to say I have been less than successful. The kid is bright and has a ridiculous memory, but at this point has little to no interest whatsoever. He isn't even 4 until May, so I am trying not to push it too hard right now. With PreKindergarten coming up in the fall, I have a feeling mommy boot camp is going to go into effect come summertime. Landon is currently playing T-ball, and besides tackling his teammates when they get the ball (he desperately wants to play football) he really is doing a great job.

Then there is Luke. Lukey is all personality and quite a character. They say the third ties in the other 2 and it is so true. He is almost as big as Landon, there is only a 6 lb difference between the 2, and already is a great athlete and way too smart for his age (turned 2 in Jan.). My other 2 were late talkers, and that is because they were too worried about running, jumping and throwing at 2 then talking to my husband or I. Luke is the complete opposite. I can have a full conversation with him and understand 95% of what he says. He repeats everything and you can see that words and expressions are starting to make sense to him...it is even funnier when he uses them. 

I truly believe this is because Taylor has become his second mommy, which has its good and bad moments. She is constantly talking to him and he always sits at the table with us with his pencil and paper when we work on her homework. It is very cute to see, but for me it is very sad. When I got pregnant with Logan she pretty much claimed the baby as hers. She was going to help me with everything and she had it all planned out. When Logan passed away and she realized he wasn't coming home she really latched on to Luke. She wipes his nose, gets him snacks, and takes care of him when I am busy dealing with Landon. It breaks my heart because I know how much she really wanted a baby here after Christmas...even if it was a boy.

The hope and dream of a new baby when she is 6 is what keeps her focused right now, and I guess I can say that is the same for me as well. I really hope the Lord gives us this opportunity because if she doesn't get a new baby brother or sister between Aug 2011 and Aug 2012, then I am going to have to deal with a very unhappy, impatient, stubborn little girl who made me promise that it would happen. Hopefully I won't have to cross that road, but if I do I will deal with it then.

Christmas morning 2010

I am very proud of my whole family and how they have come out of this tragedy.  I think I am probably the one lagging behind, but they force me to keep my head up and a smile on my face.  Without them I do not know how I would have emerged after losing Logan.  For that I am eternally grateful!