I have made a point to give myself a break from all of the sadness for a few days,which is why I haven't written anything lately. Through this whole experience I have truly learned the meaning of "misery loves company". It is so easy for me to sit at the computer or on my ipad and read (cry) about all these other women who are in the same boat as I am, but like I said before it is exhausting.
The support you get from other BLM's is unbelievable and very comforting, because no matter how hard other people try, unless you have been in my shoes you can't possibly understand the gaping hole I have in my life. It is also nice to know that you aren't crazy and they feel the exact same way you do.
The new problem I have in my life, it really shouldn't be considered a problem, is the fact that for the first time in 5 years things are actually easier. I can actually go into a store again with Luke and eating in a restaurant is actually doable, not enjoyable yet, but it can be done without too much yelling, crying, or kids climbing all over the place. Why is this a problem you may ask? Because it isn't supposed to be. I am supposed to have a 3 month old right now. I am supposed to be lugging around an infant seat while my 2 boys take off on me or protecting Logan from all the foam bullets being shot around my house. These are the things I had prepared myself for for 9 1/2 months...i guess I will never really understand why it didn't work out.
So, to help me deal with all the craziness going on in my brain, I have gone back to the gym on a regular basis now that the plague has officially left my house and everyone at this moment is currently back in school and healthy. My husband and I will be heading to the Gaylord Palm Resort this weekend in Kissimmee to celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary with 2 days of no kids and plenty of golf :)
I am very excited for this, but of course it is bitter sweet, because we shouldn't be able to do this. I should be complaining of exhaustion from changing diapers, nursing, and not sleeping. Hopefully, that day will come once again in the near future.
The support you get from other BLM's is unbelievable and very comforting, because no matter how hard other people try, unless you have been in my shoes you can't possibly understand the gaping hole I have in my life. It is also nice to know that you aren't crazy and they feel the exact same way you do.
The new problem I have in my life, it really shouldn't be considered a problem, is the fact that for the first time in 5 years things are actually easier. I can actually go into a store again with Luke and eating in a restaurant is actually doable, not enjoyable yet, but it can be done without too much yelling, crying, or kids climbing all over the place. Why is this a problem you may ask? Because it isn't supposed to be. I am supposed to have a 3 month old right now. I am supposed to be lugging around an infant seat while my 2 boys take off on me or protecting Logan from all the foam bullets being shot around my house. These are the things I had prepared myself for for 9 1/2 months...i guess I will never really understand why it didn't work out.
So, to help me deal with all the craziness going on in my brain, I have gone back to the gym on a regular basis now that the plague has officially left my house and everyone at this moment is currently back in school and healthy. My husband and I will be heading to the Gaylord Palm Resort this weekend in Kissimmee to celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary with 2 days of no kids and plenty of golf :)
I am very excited for this, but of course it is bitter sweet, because we shouldn't be able to do this. I should be complaining of exhaustion from changing diapers, nursing, and not sleeping. Hopefully, that day will come once again in the near future.
1 comments:
Happy Anniversary! I hope you enjoy your weekend away! And I know what you mean, with everything I do, there's a voice reminding me of what I should be doing, which is like you said changing diapers, and lacking sleep.
Praying for our rainbows...
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