That is the feeling I had yesterday as I walked out of the doctor's office. I was really hoping I was going to be able to post that I had my first "nothing is wrong, but I am paranoid" trip to my O.B., but unfortunately I can not.
This weekend I was having alot of intermittent cramping. I know cramping is normal, but at 9 weeks I don't remember it being as constant and it really sent me into a panic attack. It was the exact same feeling I had when I knew something was wrong with Logan 6 1/2 months ago and ignored it for 24 hours. It is amazing how strong your "gut" is. My doctor said this is a good thing. My body seems to be very much in tune with what is going on because besides the cramping I don't have any true signs that something is wrong.
So I go into my ultrasound absolutely terrified and just lay there and the ultrasound tech was nice enough to let me hear the heartbeat right away (a strong 176 beats :)) and measuring back to my original due date of Feb. 5, so baby is growing!!! Have to admit I instantly started crying. I was so terrified that I wasn't going to hear that. Then she goes on to tell me that I have a uterine bleed or a blood clot which is why I am having the cramping. It is officially diagnosed as a Subchorionic Hematoma (SCH).
This was not present at my 7 week ultrasound and they have no idea why they occur. Most women are bleeding (spotting) with these and that is what brings them into the doctor. Luckily, I have not reached that point yet and hopefully never will. I really didn't know what to ask when I was there because I was caught off guard, but have found a ton of information on it and a support group through babycenter community. It is very nice to hear from women who are currently dealing with this. Unfortunately, most of these women are now on bed rest, but whatever it takes to get a healthy baby here.
So good news is it is very far from the baby. Bad news is it has caused a corner of my placenta to detach from the uterine wall (doesn't sound good, I know). Hopefully as my uterus gets larger the placenta will move away from this and reattach itself. Despite all of this I am proud to say that our peanut has officially graduated to the status of Fetus and I am hoping and praying that it stays this way for 29 more weeks until he/she graduates to infant :)
I am officially "HIGH RISK" (which is now stamped all over my file) now and will be monitored every 2 weeks for now with ultrasound. I am on restricted activity, which I haven't really realized how that is going to work with my crazy kids. They still don't know I am pregnant and I know for sure that I will be waiting a good long while before we let that cat out of the bag.
Landon, my 4 year old, did inform me today that I shouldn't drink Soda or Pop as us Michiganders call it (which I don't, that is my husband and mom's crutch) because it will make me fat and get me a real big belly. So once I start showing I can only imagine what is going to run through his mind or I should say out of his mouth :)
I was really scared last night, but am doing a lot better today. I guess I felt that getting a rainbow would be a little bit easier considering the hell we went through 6 1/2 months ago and the ache we still feel on a daily basis. This fear is what I have been trying to put out of my mind, but here I sit again. The fear that I will not be bringing home another child. The unknown is the worst and with SCH that is what it is. Just sit and wait and hope that the body absorbs it and that it doesn't reoccur. God willing this works this time around and I don't become part of the 1% (1-3% of SCH result in pregnancy loss, just like chance of having a full term stillbirth is 1%) again!!!
On a side note, as I was waiting for my appt for a long long long time I found myself sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of 1st time moms. I was so jealous. They were so innocent and so excited and they weren't much farther along than I was. To have that naivety back and to assume that you get your happy ending. I was that girl almost 7 months ago and although I am learning to like the new me, I would do anything to have that part of me back. One girl specifically was with her mom looking at her sono pictures and emailing them to everyone as her mom was trying to get her to pick out stuff for a nursery. She kept saying, "you are going to have a baby, i can't believe you are going to be having a baby". If only it was that easy...
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
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3 comments:
Seriously?!? Enough all ready, you need a non-complicated, just pop pout a healthy baby kind of pregnancy! I am so sorry you have to add this to your pile of worry! I guess I like the fact that you are a no. 1 priority to them and that you will be getting so much extra monitoring, but still double not fair! I might throw a tantrum about it...it could happen ;)
First time blissfully ignorant pregnancies...ahh the good old days. I guess we should feel lucky that we were able to experience it, but knowing what we face now, our eyes are WIDE open. Don't you just want to shake those women, but then again you can't help but marvel in their bliss.
Thinking of you!
PS I say pop, I think in WA I hear an even amount of pop and soda, but I like pop...it's fun to say pop, pop, pop ha! :)
Oh Darcey, I'm so sorry to hear that you have the SCH to deal with on top of everything else - yes you'd think and hope that we'd get a free pass on these subsequent pregnancies...
But yeah, for listening to your body, Yeah, for no bleeding, Yeah, for it being away from your preious little one and yeah for strong fetal heartbeats.
It is reassuring to know that you'll be looked after so very closely and a chance to see your 'peanut' every two weeks isn't a bad thing.
All my continued best wishes are with you, with lots of strength and love too
Meant to comment the other day when I read this but for ur blog, I can only comment from my phone for some reason so I often forget. I had a SCH with Hayes. Dissolved by 13 wks. Scary to see the blood but hopefully it will all work out just fine!
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