LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Logan's garden is attracting butterflies right now. What makes me even happier is that my kids are just as excited as I am. If a butterfly even gets remotely close to our house my 2 year old is screaming at the top of his lungs...."Buttafly mama, look a buttafly. It's ours." After I finished Logan's garden in the spring, I bought 2 of those backyard butterfly habitat's and we got 12 caterpillars that we released after they turned into butterflies. Next year I will be buying some milkweed and hopefully I will get some monarch caterpillars and we will try it the old fashion Mother Nature's way :) Either way it was fun for me and the kids and adding a little beauty to this world at the same time never hurts!
We had another major milestone this week...besides making it to the 2nd trimester (yay for 14 weeks) it appears my SCH is gone. Baby was sucking his thumb <3 when the u/s first started and I was anxiously looking for the clot because unfortunately it was large enough even for me to see on the screen and I didn't notice it. The tech couldn't find it either. She was also pretty excited to show us the umbilical cord and where it inserted to the baby. When she didn't get much of a reaction out of us, I had to tell her that I have a very strong love/hate relationship with that particular part of pregnancy. Knowing that is what gave Logan life and then at the same time took it away is still very scary for me. I am struggling with whether or not to have a c-section this time because I am deathly scared of cord compression during delivery. Part of me just wants this baby out as soon as he is ready without taking any unnecessary chances. I know the odds of something happening during delivery is as slim as my son dying of a cord accident at 38 weeks and unfortunately I won that horrific lottery so odds and %'s don't apply to me or this pregnancy (end rant...sorry!!!).
The reality is that this was the happiest thing that has happened to me in a long long long time. Even when I got my positive on the pregnancy test it wasn't real happiness, but apprehension and fear of what now laid ahead.
When I was talking to the doctor she felt I was in the clear, but to still take it easy. She even seemed a little surprised that something so large could have resolved so quickly. The human body is an amazing thing when it wants to be.
So here I sit a third of the way through and I have days where I feel very positive about things and then there are days where I am still scared to death. I want to tell my kids so bad, but I know waiting is better. I am so afraid to jinx things, but we have begun the name debate, so I figure I am slowly moving in the right direction. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to keep taking baby steps to breathe and I will get through this. I so miss the days of pregnancy bliss!!!!
We had another major milestone this week...besides making it to the 2nd trimester (yay for 14 weeks) it appears my SCH is gone. Baby was sucking his thumb <3 when the u/s first started and I was anxiously looking for the clot because unfortunately it was large enough even for me to see on the screen and I didn't notice it. The tech couldn't find it either. She was also pretty excited to show us the umbilical cord and where it inserted to the baby. When she didn't get much of a reaction out of us, I had to tell her that I have a very strong love/hate relationship with that particular part of pregnancy. Knowing that is what gave Logan life and then at the same time took it away is still very scary for me. I am struggling with whether or not to have a c-section this time because I am deathly scared of cord compression during delivery. Part of me just wants this baby out as soon as he is ready without taking any unnecessary chances. I know the odds of something happening during delivery is as slim as my son dying of a cord accident at 38 weeks and unfortunately I won that horrific lottery so odds and %'s don't apply to me or this pregnancy (end rant...sorry!!!).
The reality is that this was the happiest thing that has happened to me in a long long long time. Even when I got my positive on the pregnancy test it wasn't real happiness, but apprehension and fear of what now laid ahead.
When I was talking to the doctor she felt I was in the clear, but to still take it easy. She even seemed a little surprised that something so large could have resolved so quickly. The human body is an amazing thing when it wants to be.
So here I sit a third of the way through and I have days where I feel very positive about things and then there are days where I am still scared to death. I want to tell my kids so bad, but I know waiting is better. I am so afraid to jinx things, but we have begun the name debate, so I figure I am slowly moving in the right direction. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to keep taking baby steps to breathe and I will get through this. I so miss the days of pregnancy bliss!!!!
2 comments:
Hooray for 14 weeks!! So glad things are goimg well.
hugs!
Love that the kids get so excited about Logan's butterflies too! I also love that you are in the second trimester and the SCH is gone!!! I am wishing only good things for you!
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